To begin, begin.

Two months later..

Sun, 23 Oct 2011 17:14:15 -0400

Hey guys,

I know it’s been a long, long time since I’ve posted here. Thanks for those who’ve stuck with me :) I haven’t been around tumblr lately due to a number of reasons: classes started and hit me hard (18 credits, all writing/reading intensive), huge changes in personal aspects of my life (ended a 2 year relationship, starting anew with someone else, dealing with consequences (like gossip and judgment) of the sudden change) as well as a serious shift in focus in my recovery from an eating disorder. I’m in a healthy point in my and I’d like to get back to focusing my energy on being healthier in terms of eating/exercising better.

SO, get ready for more updates :) I’ll be back soon when I have some more time. I’m looking forward to interacting with the tumblr community again!

112g of protein so far..

Fri, 26 Aug 2011 20:24:32 -0400

Vegetarians can get more than enough protein in a day.

Jump roping has got to be the most difficult form of cardio..

Thu, 18 Aug 2011 22:14:00 -0400

Not only are you working out your body hard, you get whipped every time you don’t do it correctly. I jumped for 10 minutes and am dripping sweat. Now…back for more.

Proof:

Sometimes you just need to run..

Fri, 12 Aug 2011 21:25:00 -0400

without distractions
without music
and with only the rhythm of your feet to guide and motivate you

I just ran for 30 straight minutes and it was amazing. I did not feel tired at all (I usually am exhausted by the 15-20 minute mark) and felt like I could’ve gone longer. This is why exercise spent entirely on a machine, staring at the monitor and waiting until I hit x amount of calories does not satisfy me anymore. Today, I ran to make myself stronger. As for the amount of calories I may or may not have burned? I couldn’t care less.

Strategies that have helped me through my recovery

Fri, 05 Aug 2011 12:37:12 -0400

I have been so strong and positive this summer, especially during this week; it has been so uplifting, satisfying and rewarding. I wanted to take the time to write out what I believe to be essential tools for my success in my recovery from my eating disorder and progress towards complete, holistic health.

1. Being able to anticipate certain situations as anxiety-inducing, which in my case is essentially synonymous with a severe urge to binge/eat emotionally. For instance, I know that situations where I am left alone with food are hugely triggering. Also, situations where I am eating, even if it may be a very healthy and wholesome meal, and someone in my home abruptly leaves during that time. I am assuming that this is because that nagging eating disordered voices tells me that there is no point in being healthy if I don’t have to be accountable for it since no one is there anyways.

This ability to recognize my weak moments helps me to think ahead and prepare for it. No, I will not seek to avoid the situation presented, but instead I will think of strategies to reduce my anxiety and consequently avoid binging or purging.

2. At least once or twice a day, the urge to binge or purge will arise. In terms of binging, it will usually be masked as an intense urge or craving for some type of junk food. Now, I am not against the consumption of treat foods at all, however, under these conditions, I know it is not safe for me to do so.

So what I will do is this: grab some ice cold water or some hot, unsweetened tea and do a lot of self-talk. I’ll say things like, “This feeling of being unsettled will in no way be solved by consuming brownies or candy” or “Look, if you really want chips, you can have them!! But first, let’s allow this intense craving for them subside a little so that it won’t turn out to be a full-out binge.” I might even have to grab a couple of ice cubes in my hand to reawaken the connection between my racing mind and my body. The key principle here is engaging mindfulness and trying to relax as much as possible.

3. Keeping busy throughout the day has also been very important since it leaves less time for me to dwell on negativity and unhealthy eating habits. Also, I gain a fulfilling sense of having been productive that day.

4. Choosing healthy, satisfying foods at meal time. Some of my favorite filling foods are things like beans, eggs, avocados, pasta, canned tuna, and oatmeal. Drinking plenty of fluids is also helpful towards my recovery since it keeps me hydrated and allows me to more clearly distinguish real hunger as opposed to an emotionally driven desire to eat.

5. Incorporating moderate levels of exercise. As a person, I tend to have an ‘all or nothing’ mentality towards a lot of things in my life. So it has taken me some time to be able to work out to make me feel healthy without thinking things like “I must burn 600 calories before I can leave the gym.” The key here is to be gentle with your body.

6. And finally, having access to outside support. Even though I do not seek the support of others while I may be at the peak of an urge, I still talk to someone at the end of each day to tell them about my successes and failures. Being able to have someone be there has helped immensely to solidify feelings of success as well as move away from feelings of failure and hopelessness.

So that’s what I’ve come up with so far. I initially wrote this in my personal journal but I thought that I’d share just in case it may help someone else in their journey towards recovery :)

*Please do not see this as me creating strategies to avoid eating when I am hungry. I never, ever do that..if I am hungry I always eat something. These strategies are to be used when you feel stressed or anxious and are looking for help avoiding unhealthy coping mechanism involving food.

Breakfast: egg and avocado bagel sandwich. Pomegranate/green tea...

Thu, 04 Aug 2011 09:23:00 -0400

Breakfast: egg and avocado bagel sandwich. Pomegranate/green tea and some reading on the side. I will never get tired of the egg and avocado combination.

Edit: I just went back and looked through my archive’s pictures..almost all of them include some form of avocados..I’m obsessed! :p

My lunch that I’m eating now: salad consisting of spinach,...

Wed, 03 Aug 2011 14:11:14 -0400

My lunch that I’m eating now: salad consisting of spinach, corn, cucumber, yellow/orange pepper, red onion, and avocado. No dressing, just a little lime, salt and some salsa. Yes, I had to eat it with a spoon :D

I have breaded eggplants baking for some eggplant parmesan for me and my man friend tonight. Good food day!

ffoodd: Summer colors (by thursdayinthesky) Yum, I want to...

Mon, 01 Aug 2011 16:33:34 -0400

ffoodd:

Summer colors (by thursdayinthesky)

Yum, I want to make this later this week.

I’ve posted so many pictures of avocados in my meals...

Thu, 28 Jul 2011 15:18:00 -0400

I’ve posted so many pictures of avocados in my meals throughout my blog :) They are my absolute favorite.

kangadoodle: Hannah Harto - My Drunk Kitchen ep1: Butter yo’...

Tue, 26 Jul 2011 08:57:58 -0400

kangadoodle:

Hannah Harto - My Drunk Kitchen ep1: Butter yo’ shit.

1/2 an avocado on toast, scrambled egg with vegetables, and some...

Sun, 24 Jul 2011 12:42:16 -0400

1/2 an avocado on toast, scrambled egg with vegetables, and some red grapes.

Awesome workout, Mexican food, and margaritas!

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 15:56:00 -0400

I am so excited for dinner and drinks tonight!!! I worked out HARD this morning so that I wouldn’t feel too bad about eating what I want later on. My workout consisted of the following:

20min Jog
30min Stair climb
15min Vigorous rowing
50 Seated leg raise
2 min Plank
100 Mason twist
30 “Pulse ups”
20x2 Oblique sit ups on bench
2x12 (12.5lbs) Bicep curls
2x12 (12.5lbs) Deep swimmer’s press
2x12 (12.5lbs) Tricep kickbacks
45 (12.5lbs) Lunges
45 (12.5lbs) Calf raises

:) And now I’m about to head out with some girlfriends for mexican food and margaritas. I am stoked!

PS. On the topic of drinks..I found an awesome new beer! Michelob Ultra Lime Cactus. Only 95 calories, 5.5g carbs, and 4% abv. But the best part is its sweet aftertaste :D

Currently drinking a hot apple, cinnamon, and ginger cider...

Tue, 19 Jul 2011 21:48:04 -0400

and it is divine!

hi! what is a "veg omelet" exactly?

Fri, 15 Jul 2011 10:48:24 -0400

Veggie* Oops, got lazy with my typing :)

Brrreakfast! My favorite meal of the day: veggie omelet, toast...

Fri, 15 Jul 2011 10:05:00 -0400

Brrreakfast! My favorite meal of the day: veggie omelet, toast with avocado, cheese, and cucumbers with a side of fresh mangoes and cucumber water. Happyhappyhappy stomach.

How do your smoothies with spinach in them taste? Can you taste the spinach or is it masked by the fruit and just adds nutritional value??

Wed, 13 Jul 2011 16:47:18 -0400

With about 1-1.5 cups of spinach, I can’t taste any of it. I add it mainly for nutritional value (plus I also like the color haha). It does add a certain..pulp-like texture to your smoothie though, which some may find unpleasant. Try a little bit to your smoothie next time to see if you like it and let me know how it goes!

Spinach, strawberry, mango smoothie for my snack!

Wed, 13 Jul 2011 15:51:38 -0400

Spinach, strawberry, mango smoothie for my snack!

Why I REFUSE to weigh myself anymore:

Wed, 13 Jul 2011 14:11:00 -0400

The number on the scale does not reflect how fit and healthy I look and feel.
I could eat a strict 1200 calorie intake the day before and I could still SOMEHOW still ‘gain’ weight.
Even after I have an amazing day of eating healthy food, working out hard, and generally feeling really good about myself, the moment I step on the scale, those feelings of positivity and hopefulness WILL all change. Whether it puts me in an ecstatic mood that I lost weight or a disappointed/hopeless/angry/self-destructive mood if I gained weight (even if it’s 0.2lbs), a single object should not have that much power over me.
Not to mention all the physiological things as well, such as muscle weighing more than fat, muscle being leaner than fat, and muscle consuming more calories than fat.

NO MORE.
NO MORE.
NO MORE.

I am sick of all the mind-fucking that my scale has contributed to my life and how much it has hindered my progress towards health and away from my eating disorder. FUCK YOU, SCALE. We’re through.

One more thing, if you’re interested in freeing yourself from compulsively weighing yourself, watch this video..it has helped me realize how counter-productive it is for me to continue to do so.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKfbXiOwIX8

Scrambled egg with broccoli, spinach, a mushroom and some onion....

Wed, 13 Jul 2011 10:32:00 -0400

Scrambled egg with broccoli, spinach, a mushroom and some onion. Two pieces of toast with cheese and 1/2 an avocado with a bowl of strawberries on the side. My breakfast today :)

This was my dinner (sorry for the blurry quality!). Vegetable...

Tue, 12 Jul 2011 20:05:00 -0400

This was my dinner (sorry for the blurry quality!). Vegetable rotini and chickpea ‘patties’. It was made of all kinds of vegetable-y goodness and had a whopping 32g of protein (mainly from the chickpeas)! Who says vegetarians don’t get enough protein??